The Myth of ‘Quality Time’

I wanna be a full-time mom and a part-time worker.
Right now, I feel like I’m more a full-time worker and a part-time mom.

And the guilt runs DEEP.

People try to tell me that it’s not the amount of time that matters. That you can work all day and still come home to spend quality time with the children. I KNOW for a fact that’s not true.

Surely, the statement assumes that our energy level remains at a constant optimum level throughout the day. Let’s face it – even batteries run down with time. Likewise, I wake up fresh and early, invest my time and energy at work and by the time I get home to my kids, they really only get the raw end of the deal. Cause as much as I try to will myself not to feel tired, the truth is, I do get tired.

Which is why I believe that quality time is a myth. How do you spend quality time at the end of the day when you are exhausted from the day’s work? Quality time takes effort (read: ENERGY) and patience. And sometimes, I end up snapping at my children because they want to play a little while longer. And I try to stifle a yawn during reading time. It is awful.

They way i see it, my children have a right to demand that time and attention from me. And there I go snapping at them.

Total time spent at the office per day: 11 hours (7am-6pm)
Total time spent with the children
(excluding the hustle-n-bustle of bathtime and dinner time): 2 hours (8-10pm)

My little boy once asked: ‘Momma, will you catch a cold tomorrow?’
I replied: ‘Why do you want me to catch a cold? I’m sure you don’t want momma to be ill? Then I won’t be able to play with you.’
And he replied: ‘Yes, but if you have a cold, then you can stay home. I like it when you are at home.’

Something must be wrong somewhere when a child says that to his mother.

The idea of being a stay-at-home-mom is becoming more appealing by the day.

-happimom.